Bragging Rights
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In which Laxus finds something better than himself to talk about, Mira realizes how obnoxious she and him are together (to others anyways), and Natsu, finally, becomes useful outside of battle. Sorta. - One-shot.


Bragging Rights

To say that Laxus had a problem would be an understatement. And a gross one at that. No, Laxus had a chronic malady that kept him from even functioning at times. It was a disease that was beginning to take over his life. Even just sitting around up at the guild was becoming impossible due to it.

"That's great and everything, Freed," he was known to say more than once, "but your job was kinda…weak. Compared to, you know, Mirajane's. Did I tell you about it? Huh? How she went out on an S-Cass one. By herself. And smoked it."

"Yes, Laxus," Freed and the rest of the Thunder Legion would sigh. "We have heard about-"

"I mean, it was really tough and detailed. I don't think I could have told you everything."

Oh, but he could. And had. For a man that was typically the strong silent type, talking about Mirajane could really get him going.

And boy, when he got going, he just didn't know where to stop. At all.

He wasn't just infected. He was terminal.

Mainly because if he kept bragging up Mira constantly, someone, namely Erza, was going to have to take him out. It was that annoying.

The others couldn't even go over to the board to get a job without him mentioning it. He'd post up, right around it, just so he'd be able to comment on how weak and childish all the other jobs were. But the ones that his demon too? Well, those were just hardcore.

"I could take one too," Natsu would complain. "One just as tough! Hey, Gramps, make me S-Class!"

Makarov would, of course, only sigh and grumble under his breath, which got the Salamander nowhere. The only option (since stealing one had been such a failure in the past) was to beat Mirajane in battle.

"Mira, fight me," became his usual mantra, but the barmaid would only giggle and continue to tend to the guild like usual. And if Laxus was around when he proclaimed that, well, he was in for a world of pain.

"You think that just anyone can challenge my demon? Huh?" Laxus would growl if he heard Natsu do so. "You gotta go through me you little punk."

Which, really, if he was being honest with himself, was exactly what Natsu wanted. He knew Mirajane was powerful. No doubt. But at the same time, she was only powerful when she wanted to be. And in the guildhall, where passing out beers was her main goal, she just didn't.

Laxus though, well hell, he was always powerful! And if he was willing to fight then there was no way that Natsu was going to turn him down.

Even though every single time he got knocked flat on his ass, it was always worth it. Always.

Not that it helped Laxus and his bragging any. Even though they all knew it wasn't true, he liked to boast Mirajane up to be even stronger than him and it only got worse whenever he'd take out Natsu. Which, really, should have been something they were thankful for. And they were.

Kind of.

Before his excommunication, Laxus had been rather arrogant in his thoughts about himself and, while warranted, they weren't always appreciated. Since rejoining the guild however, he'd calmed down. A lot. It seemed, however, that when he and Mirajane got together, that he how annoying arrogance came off to others and took up those same traits with Mirajane inserted in his place.

It was kinda silly at first. Everyone would just sorta grin, thinking it was cute that the hardcore Lightning Dragon Slayer could be tamed so easily by Mirajane Strauss. It was adorable, really, listening to him brag on her. Listening to him talk about how she was his woman (though that took some getting used to by the others and, at times, even sounded a tad possessive if not chauvinistic) and that she was the best in the guild was really endearing.

Until it wasn't.

"Mira literally takes three jobs a year. If that," Ever complained once when he took to diminishing what she and Bickslow had done out on a job, instead taking to bragging about what kinda of monsters Mirajane could take out, single handedly. You know, if she wanted. "So maybe-"

""So maybe Ever's just had too much sun today," Bickslow tried to laugh as Laxus' face grew dark, just from the woman's tone. "And she doesn't know what she's saying. And you should just ignore her, boss, and, uh, let it slide because-"

"Mira only takes that many jobs," the slayer growled, "because she doesn't have to take them. She works here, serving you sorry losers constantly. And the jobs that she does take are so technically advanced that she rakes in more than enough jewels from them. That's why you idiots are just bumbling around constantly, trying to make ends meet, without really having any chance in hell of actually making rent. You get that, Ever? Huh? My woman don't need to take your sorry jobs and brag about them."

"Yeah, 'cause you do it for her."

"Ever," Bickslow hissed as Laxus only leaned across the table and stared the woman in the eyes, as if daring her to lift her glasses and turn him to stone. "What are you doing? Have you lost your mind?"

No. Not at all. Just that some of her reserves had been broken down by Laxus' constant talk of Mirajane. It was one thing, when the man used to date around, and she occasionally had to hear about other women, but to be consistently berated about her performance as a mage versus Mirajane's (as well as other things), it was just insufferable.

Not that Evergreen had any romantic interest in Laxus. At all. She never had, really. More just an intense adoration. To hear that he had just as fierce adulation for someone other than her was aggravating. Pure and simple. She might be tough, but even stone eventually begins to crack.

"My demon," Laxus finally growled, "is way better than any of you will ever be. Agreed?"

And he was giving her an out then. It was obvious. Laxus might not always show it, but he derived just as much joy from the Thunder Legion as they did him. He didn't want to yell at them or be upset with them. He just wanted them to have the exact same opinions about things as he had.

Was that too much to ask? Huh?

Perhaps. At times. But at the time, Ever wasn't going to risk it.

"O-Of course, Laxus," she caved, as stone would in such situations. Breaking first, she looked off. "Mirajane is the best, after all."

Damn right.

Erza, however, wasn't one to do such a thing. Back down. Especially not to Laxus. She respected both he and Mirajane as her equals, if not him slightly more, but consistent bragging on one's self was not something that she could put up with.

And, after a few months of dealing with it, she went to the source.

Mirajane.

Who, in her usual obliviousness, had no idea what the other woman was speaking of.

"Oh, Erza," she giggled as they sat around the guild on one of it's slow days, the head barmaid having a chance to actually sit down and have a drink with the woman (she was actually having one with Cana who, per usual, had taken to drinking herself to death, leaving a spot open for the swordswoman to sneak in). "That's just how Laxus shows love. You know that."

"That is not…love," Erza complained. "That is annoying. Plain and simple."

"Annoying?" She grinned at her. "For saying how much he loves me?"

"It is far more than that and you know it."

Mirajane shook her head. "I haven't noticed anything extraordinary. Just that Laxus likes to say how good we are together. I do too. We connect on that part. On every part, really."

Ugh.

"I just," the reequip mage tried once more, "think that perhaps you should speak with him. He is shoving in everyone's face that you are far superior to everyone else and it is rather disheartening to the others."

Mirajane only blinked. "Don't you do that all the time?"

Scoffing, Erza said,, "I am the utmost modest when it comes to all things involving those under me."

That was true. But sometimes her modesty just rubbed Mirajane the wrong way.

Namely when it came to her and Laxus. She loved the way that he, well, loved her. Adored her. Held her in a higher esteem than even he did himself. Thought of her as above him. _Him_. The man that thought he was a god also came to the conclusion that she was one step above him.

And Erza wanted to ruin that for her?

With a grin then, Mirajane said, "I get it."

"Get what?

"What's going on," the she-devil explained. "I understand completely, Erza."

Confounded completely, the swordswoman only shook her head. "I do not know what you are-"

"You," Mirajane giggled as Cana, who was passed out at the table with them, fell over in her stupor with a groan, "are jealous."

"J-Jealous?"

"Of me," she clarified. "I'm happy and in love and you just can't stand it, can you?"

"That is in no way-"

"It's alright, Erza." Reaching over, Mirajane patted her on the shoulder. "You'll be as happy as Laxus and I. Someday."

"Mira, I am not-"

"Someday, Erza," she reiterated before downing her glass of wine and getting up to get back to work. "Someday."

After that fail, it seemed as if there was nothing to get rid of Laxus' overly loving Mirajane problem. If even she wasn't aware of it, then what were they supposed to do? Just suffer through? The only one that didn't seem to mind it was Happy and that was just because it gave him a couple to fawn over unconditionally. The rest of them though were in Hell whenever Laxus wasn't out on a job. And it just wasn't fair.

That, actually, ended up solving itself though. Eventually. A few more weeks came to pass before then, but it was finally Laxus himself that did his own undoing. And over something so obvious.

Namely, he began taunting her siblings.

Which, really, wasn't that odd. He did that at times. He and Elfman butted heads over thins while he and Lisanna had a rather love/hate relationship that led to a lot of bickering. But all in all, he knew his limits.

Until he didn't.

It happened when Elfman and Lisanna went out on a job only for the latter to return with a broken arm. Which, really, wasn't _that_ big of a deal. They were all skilled mages, fine, but accidents did happen. A broken bone was standard. Especially for those without heightened resistance.

Laxus though saw it as weakness. Pure and simple.

"What's wrong with you?" he'd grumbled when, upon arriving at the guildhall, he referred to the infirmary by Kinana when he requested Mirajane (he always requested her; it was kinda his thing). Upstairs though, he found Lisanna getting her arm wrapped by her sister as Elfman stood by in tears. "Kid?"

"I'm not a kid," she complained through a grimace. "And go away."

"Lisanna broke her arm, dragon," Mirajane said, not even glancing over at him. "And Elfman's upset because it was his fault."

"Sis," Lisanna complained as Elfman just sobbed harder. Laxus though only frowned.

"Lame," he grumbled. "You're both lame."

"Laxus." Finally, Mirajane did glance back at him. "What are you-"

"I mean," he continued as he came further into the room. It was a good thing that the Salamander wasn't there, as he would have gladly challenged him to a fight in Lisanna's honor (or just because he wanted to, but whatever). "Look at the two of you. One's got a broken bone and the other's howling like he's the one with one? Pitiful. You chumps. My demon could- Ow, Mira!"

At the moment, his demon was leaving her sister behind and going to pinch him.

Rather hard too. Because he deserved it.

"What," she hissed, "is your problem? Huh?"

"Nothing," he complained with a glare. "I was just explaining to idiot one and idiot two here that you are way better than them. What did it look like? You wouldn't have gotten a broken arm on any job. Especially not whatever rinky-dink one that they went out on. You take serious jobs. Hear that, Elfboy? Kid? Your sister's a real mage. You two are just- Stop pinching me!"

"No." Mirajane did it again just for good measure. "You get out of here."

"Mira-"

"Now!"

Growling, he turned on his heel and sulked back off, down to the first floor.

"What was his problem?" Elfman asked as he sniffled. "Real men don't attack the wounded! Physically or verbally."

Lisanna managed an eye roll and to get out, "Why are you shocked? He's always like that."

"What do you mean?" Mirajane went back to the cot her sister was seated on. "Lisanna?"

"Even I know what she means," Elfman grumbled. "He's a jerk."

"What?"

"Mira, seriously?" Lisanna gave her a look. "No one can even take a job anymore without being berated over it. Because no one's as strong as _his_ girlfriend. Have any of us ever seen _his_ woman fight? In battle? The way that _his_ girl can turn into a complete mastermind and figure out any puzzle is just pure amazing. Why do the rest of us even try? Huh? Why?"

Mira only blinked. Then she frowned. "He doesn't mean it that way."

"Oh, right, sure."

"He doesn't." Indignantly, she began, "He just means like…he… He just loves me! And he's not very good at showing it. That's all."

"So he thinks that to show it he has to be a jerk to the rest of us?" Elfman snorted. "That's not manly. At all."

"He just… You don't get it."

"Good," her brother retorted. "I wouldn't want to understand something stupid like that."

And they were content to leave it at that. Or at least her siblings were. Mira? Not so much. So when she finished up with Lisanna in the infirmary, she headed downstairs, marched over to her dragon, and drug him away from the table he was seated at, talking to the Thunder Legion, forcing him to go outside with her.

"What, demon?" he grumbled as she tugged him along. "I was busy in there. I can talk to people other than you sometimes, you know."

Instead of responding to that, she only glared up at him with one of her most disapproving looks.

"Dragon," she began. "Why were you being mean to my brother and sister?"

"I wasn't."

"Laxus-"

"Fine," he groaned. It never took much for her to break him. "I won't call them lame anymore. Is that what you want?"

"No." Her eyes were still dark as she said, "Lisanna told me that you've been bothering other people."

Snort. "Other people bother me."

"Laxus-"

"When? Huh? When do I do all this bothering?"

"Well, I don't know," she huffed, looking off then. Laxus kept staring at her though.

"That's right you don't know. Because I don't do it. I-" He stopped too, right in the middle of what he was saying, as he saw Shadow Gear returning from a job, victorious and jolly, Levy talking loudly to Gajeel and Lily, who they'd run into on the way to the guildhall about it as Jet and Droy called her praises. Narrowing his eyes, Laxus called out to them.

"Shut up," he complained loudly making Gajeel glare over at him. "Oh? You saved a town from a bunch of bandits? In three days? Great. Idiots. My demon could-"

"Go fuck yourself, lightning rod," Gajeel grumbled as Levy only shot the yellow haired slayer a look. "Sheesh."

"Why don't you come say that to my-"

"Laxus!" Mirajane grabbed his arm as he turned to head over there and, for some reason, fight Gajeel. Which made no sense to her. Laxus usually didn't like fighting with other people in the guild. And he still didn't, really. It was just that when he was around Mirajane (or thinking about her, which he usually was), he could get so worked up. He wanted everyone to bow down to her.

And him. Him and her. Because they were the best mages in all of Fiore. Earth Land, really. Sure, he hadn't done much research, but what the hell? Who was going to call him on it?

Mirajane, apparently. That day anyways.

As Levy and Lily managed to get Gajeel in the building (he wasn't as dumb as the Salamander anyways; getting your ass kicked over and over by the same person was just embarrassing), Mira took to pinching Laxus some more.

"Damn it, Mirajane, you-"

"You're a bully, you know that?"

He only blinked at her. Then he frowned. "Just keying in on this or-"

"Laxus-"

"They had nothing to be bragging about," he grumbled simply. "You could have handled that job in-"

"What is with you? Huh? Who cares what I can do?"

He did. And the others should too!

Rolling her eyes, Mirajane said, "You know, a couple weeks ago, Erza came to me about this and I thought that she was just jealous."

"She should be."

"I just blew her off," she continued, ignoring what he'd said before. "But I shouldn't have."

"Demon-"

"You're not going to bother other people anymore, dragon," she said. "And especially not Lisanna or Elfman. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing." Err, well, he loved her. That was the biggest thing. And he liked to try to make other people love her just as much (maybe not _just_ ). "I'm perfect."

"Laxus."

"I am," he defended. "And so are you. They should be jealous."

"You're being bad."

"Am not."

"Behave."

"Demon-"

"Behave or go home." Then she lifted her head up high. Staring him in the eyes once more, she said, "That's the rule from now on. You either behave or you don't get to come into the guildhall."

"What?" He growled at her that time. "Look, woman, you don't tell me what to do! You-"

"Behave."

"I am!"

"Inside voice, Laxus."

"We're outside!"

"I don't care."

He looked ready to strangle her. And, maybe, if she was anyone else, he would have tried it.

"Count to ten," she prompted.

"You stupid-"

"One."

"I hate-"

"Two."

"You're not-"

"Three."

"Stop-"

"Four."

"I'm going to-"

"Five."

"Just leave-"

"Six."

"They're the ones-"

"Seven."

"You can't-"

"Eight."

"They should-"

"Nine." And that time she held his gaze, waiting for him to speak. Slowly though, he only let out a long breath and, with a grin, Mirajane said, "Ten. There. Was that so hard?"

Yes. It was extremely difficult. It had such a high level of complexity that he did not want to do it again.

So he headed back into the guildhall, sat down with the Thunder Legion, and, for the first time in a long time, only stared down at his drink, headphones on, and glared down at his drink.

That was what he went back to too. It was like the old days. Everyone was appreciative. Especially the Thunder Legion. Finally Freed was able to tell Laxus about his accomplishments without fearing the man would only turn them around on him and make them into insults. And Bickslow, well, he was able to talk about how he spent the day making the babies new bodies without the threat of Laxus calling him lame and explaining the complexity of Mirajane's day. Then Ever, well, she was just glad to not have to hear about the she-demon constantly. It was great.

For everyone except Laxus. He was miserable. What was the point of having the demon if he was only allowed to enjoy her in private? Huh?

And then there was Mira. It was one of those things that go without being noticed until they're gone she figured, but man did she miss listening to Laxus brag on her. When he would, she'd never let on that she was paying attention or even that she cared. Would only giggle some times or turn a blind eye to the way that he was making others feel. It had been great though, she would admit, to hear just how he loved her strength, her power, her prowess. It was grand, really.

Then she had to go ruin. The only time she heard about her magical abilities and superiority to others from him was when they were alone. Per her instructions, of course, but still.

It just felt like something was missing.

Eventually, she found herself explaining this to Laxus one day on her break, as they sat at a table alone, him finally finding time not to brood in the corner and instead stare at her with a slight smirk. He always enjoyed his demon time.

Always.

No, seriously. It was one of those mandatory things that she'd kick him out of the guildhall if he didn't do.

"Something just feels off," she sighed as she picked at her dinner. Well, his dinner. And by break, she totally meant she'd come to bring him the food he ordered, decided she was hungry, and then declared she was taking her break. When you were dating the Master's grandson (and pretty much had the Master in your back pocket anyways) you could do those sorts of things. "Recently. With us. Have you noticed?"

"Mira, I told you," he grumbled, smirk falling. "I've been under a lot of stress. It was one bad night. I mean, I made up for it in the morning so-"

"Not that." She rolled her eyes, looking off. "I meant up here. At the hall."

"Oh, well-"

"And I told you, Laxus, that it was alright. It wasn't that big of a deal."

"Ha ha."

"That wasn't a pun! I was just-"

" _Anyways_."

"Anyways," she began, taking the hint and getting off the subject (hopefully forever). "I just miss…and you'll be mad at me-"

"Never." Maybe. Sometimes. Okay, a lot. But not in a way that she'd ever take notice of it. "What's up? Huh?"

"Just that… I sorta liked it."

"Liked what?"

Glancing off, she said, "I don't want to sound conceited or something."

"You? Demon? No way. Talk to dragon. I ain't a mind reader." He smirked again. "What's wrong?"

"I just…I loved it when you would brag on me, but apparently no one else does, so we're not allowed to do it anymore and it's not fair."

For a moment, he only stared. Then he let out a long breath.

"I'm glad you said it," he told her with a nod of his head. "Because I've been thinking it too, but it would have come off as weird if I did. I mean, sheesh, so what? I love my woman and I like to make it known. Is that a bad thing?"

"I know! They act like they shouldn't all want to be like me." Then Mira blushed. "I mean-"

"No, demon, you're right." He sat up straight then, arms crossed over his chest. "You're awesome."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said. "They should want to be like you. And if they don't, well, it should be my job to remind them. You're my demon. My woman. I love you. A lot."

"Awe."

"Why's it my fault that you're just better than them and always will be in every way possible? Huh? It's not. I like talking about your achievements and rubbing it in their faces. I'm dating the strongest woman to ever live. What? Am I supposed to just keep that to myself? What kinda world do we live in? Huh?"

Grinning fondly yet morosely over at him, Mira rested her head in her palm and gave him half a shrug. "A poor one, I figure."

"What's a guy supposed to do then? Huh? To get all of this out? Why do I even come to this stinkin' guildhall if not to make sure that they all know that we're together and that I think you're amazing because you are and that they should all just grovel at our feet constantly? Huh? Why? What's the point?"

"Questions that need answers."

Grunt. Then, staring her in the eyes, he said, "Don't feel bad then, demon. About feeling how you do. I feel the same. If you hadn't told me to stop, I wouldn't have."

"I just don't like for others to find us annoying."

"Oh, so what? We can't do that, but everyone else can be obnoxious whenever they want?" He was getting worked up. "I gotta watch Cana get sloppy drunk, Nab do no work at all, _and_ Gajeel freaking try to bone Levy every day and fail, but I can't talk about my demon?"

"Laxus, keep your voice down." Mira, finally remember where they were, took to glancing around, but no one seemed to be around that might take offense to any of that. "You-"

"No, Mira. I'm not going to. It's the truth. So what? I make other uncomfortable? Good! They should be. If they're not you, they're lives aren't worth living."

"That's a bit harsh, don't you think?"

Yes. But he'd been stewing in the corner all day, sipping away at beer after beer. It was his time to be heard.

And drunk.

Both.

At the same time.

Arg.

"I just," he whispered then as he kept his eyes locked with her blue ones, "want you to know. That I think highly of you. And I like to say it. I'm…proud of you. A lot. You make me happy. And you're the best damn mage ever. And barkeep, but it feels weird to say that one without being demeaning so I was going to leave it off and now I'm rambling so-"

"I love you too." Then she smiled at him and giggled a bit. "And thank you."

That moment felt good anyways. But the next day was much the same. Laxus with his headphones, ignoring them all and Mira missing the sound of him berating others.

It was only fitting that that was their thing. An odd kink for an odd couple. It worked for them. It just did.

"I'm confused," Lucy said when Mira let this known to her a few days later.

"Yeah, I know. Who knew that everyone was so offended by-"

"No, no that," she was quick to say. "Laxus got really brutal some times. You should have heard the things he said to Gray. He can be a real jerk when-"

"What," Mira cut her off, no wanting to hear any of that, "are you talking about then?"

"Oh." Lucy giggled as she leaned against the bar, staring across it at Mira. "You say that you like for Laxus to compliment you, right?"

"Of course."

"Then why don't you just let him go back to doing it?"

Giving her a frown, Mirajane said, "Because it's mean. You yourself said it already; he's horrible. He makes fun of others and that's not nice."

"But you like it. And he likes it."

"That's being selfish."

"Then just find someone who doesn't mind being criticized," the celestial mage suggested. "Someone who's used to it. Someone who thrives off it."

Mira, of course, came up blank at that. It took a week, in fact, until she finally had her answer. And even then, Laxus was out on a job, so she had to wait for him to get back to inform him of the new rule.

"What?" he grumbled. "You _want_ me to be mean to Natsu?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Demon," he groaned. They were laying in bed (they hardly ended up anywhere else after he returned from a job) and he rolled onto his back then, to stare up at the ceiling. "Whenever I say anything bad to him, all he does it want to fight me. In fact, he does that when I speak to him at all! That's why I hate him."

"And that's why he's perfect."

"Excuse me?"

"Not like that." She snuggled up to his side. "You're perfect."

"Yeah, I know."

"But he's perfect for this part." Kissing his chest, she whispered against it, "He's so used to people complaining about him or saying that he's bothersome or a hothead and that he's not as good a mage as he thinks he is, that when you do it, it just bounces off. Because he likes it. He loves to prove people wrong."

"He can't prove me wrong. You are stronger than him."

Mira rolled her eyes. "Dragon-"

"You are. And I don't wan to keep pounding that loser. It's a waste of time and effort and-"

"Do you want to talk noise in the guildhall?"

Yes. Desperately. He loved it.

When he nodded, she said, "Then Natsu it is."

Ugh.

It was kinda funny, really, when one thought about it. Just how perfect the whole setup was. Team Natsu went out on jobs constantly (it was the only way to keep Lucy's rent paid), meaning that Laxus got in a good jab at least once a week. About how Natsu was lame and that Mirajane was better or that she was already S-Class by his age and, really, was he even worthy of being a slayer?

Was he?

Yes.

To everyone other than Laxus.

And Mirajane got in her weird love of Laxus being an ass to someone in her honor thing that she had going while Natsu, never one to catch on, always fell for it and would have a good (in his mind anyways) tussle with Natsu before they headed out on a job, Lucy and Happy shaking their heads and rolling their eyes the entire time. As far as he was concerned, all Laxus was doing was trying to toughen him up. Train with him in his own way.

One day he'd get the upper hand. Even if when they were old and decrepit his record against the other slayer was a billion to one, it was that single one that he was striving for.

Which Laxus couldn't hate him for.

Or he could. And he had. In the past. Finally though, Natsu had become useful to him. In fact, he was thinking about keeping him around then, after the old man finally kicked the bucket and he inherited the guildhall.

…Maybe. No need to get ahead of himself.

* * *

 **Slow writing week since the baseball playoffs are going on. Most of my free time is going to that. Probably will get back to posting more once my team gets eliminated (or goes to the World Series). Next chapter of Beach Retreat should be out in the next few days though. Maybe tomorrow.**


End file.
